A lot of people who have just recently lost a loved one are now turning to bereavement counselling for help. Bereavement is the time spent to grieve by a person when he or she has lost someone close to them. They mourn the loss of a family member, a spouse, or close friend or colleague. Death is permanent and a dead person can never come back to life. That’s the reason that the death of a loved one can probably be the hardest thing to accept.
In rural Ireland, before it would be common to bottle up your feelings but in 2017 it is now accepted to speak to someone to help you get through your grievance.
Bereavement counselling is a type of therapy open to all people who have recently lost a loved one but has a hard time accepting that fact and moving on. It offers support and provides an avenue for the bereaved person to talk about his or her feelings. Remember, a person who just lost someone will be adjusting to a new life without his loved one. That is such a dramatic change for this person and talking about a person’s feelings will help him or her accept this.
People have different ways of dealing with grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. However, there are five common stages that a grieving person undergoes. Some people may even skip a stage and that is still okay. Below are the different stages of grief:
Denial is usually the first the reaction if you found out a death of a loved one. According to Sigmund Freud, denial is the perfect defence mechanism if something too painful happened. A person rejects the fact that they have loss someone and would pretend that everything is still the same. This is considered the first stage of grief.
Once the denial stage wears off, a bereaved person will slowly realize the truth. It is indeed true that he has lost a loved one. The pain that he is feeling will be too much that his heart will be filled with anger. He will divert this intense emotion by punching the wall, shouting at the people surround him, or blaming the doctor who has treated his loved one. Some may also tend to resent the deceased loved one for causing him the pain that he is currently feeling.
At this stage, you will be thinking of all the things that you could have done just to prevent the loss. If only you went home earlier to help mom install the cabinet, she wouldn’t have fallen and bumped her head. If only you had enough money to pay for your father’s maintenance medicine, then his sickness wouldn’t have progressed. If only… Regrets will surely be abundant in this stage. A grieving person may also find himself striking a deal with God or a higher entity just to give back life to his loved one.
Depression can be your worst enemy when you lost a loved one. It can consume you and your whole existence. There are two types of depression: the subtle one and the more intense one. The subtle one is part of your grieving process where in you will feel the sorrow of your loss but you can still function as a human being. The more intense type of depression will totally turn your world upside down. You’ll lose your drive to live and will feel immense desperation. You will lose your appetite and feel dispirited.
Acceptance is the stage where in you will be able to face the reality that you have indeed lost a loved one. This is the stage where you can finally let your loved one go and you can start moving on with your life. Not everyone can experience this stage. The death of their loved on may be too sudden that they won’t be able to move on until the day they die. However, by not accepting the fact that you have loss someone close to you, you are denying yourself peace and future happiness.
Coping with a death of a loved one is different from person to person. Some will experience a smooth transition while others will find it hard to accept the loss of someone close to them. Because of this, some people are turning to grief counselling to help them adjust to their new lives. Depression is just one of the signs that you need the help of a counsellor but it is by the far, the most dreadful of them all.
Here are some of the reasons why grief counselling is important:
During your grief counselling sessions, you can talk about anything you want. You can cry as much as you want without being judged by your therapist. Letting your emotions out will help you release the burden that you are carrying and share it someone. You will be able to express yourself without the grief counsellor being offended.
Sometimes a death of a family member will cause a strain to the whole family. Because of this, some family members will isolate themselves and not reach out to their grieving mother or sibling. Everyone is busy dealing with their own grief that they will not be able to tolerate others talking about theirs. A bereavement counsellor will offer you a listening ear and will help you get through these difficult times.
A bereavement counsellor has spent years of studying the human behavior and how he copes with loss. This makes him an expert when it comes to dealing with people who have just lost a loved one. He will listen to you, advise you and guide you to the stage of acceptance. Getting in touch with a professional grief counsellor like will help you understand that what you are feeling is not wrong and that you have to power to overcome this intense emotion.