Marital problems can be one of the major reasons why wedded couple seek a divorce. Some even cite their irreconcilable differences in when they file for divorce or annulment. We can’t blame them though as complications will surely surface during your marriage every now and them.
Conjugal glitches, may it be big or small, happens to everyone. People just react to them differently. Some will choose to go the easy way and decide to separate while some of them will go to fight for their marriage against all odds, for better or for worse. Some will even go through couples counselling just to try and resolve their issues.
Common Marital Problems Encountered by Couples
Couples face different types of complications, causing new relationship issues day by day. It can be something as small as not bringing the trash outside or as huge as a financial problem. However, we have compiled here six matrimonial problems that are often experienced by couples, newlyweds or not:
Poor communication is probably the root of all conflicts, whether it is marital or not. When you have failed to communicate properly to your partner, you are leaving him/her some space to speculate or interpret what you are trying to say. Some, especially women, will tend to over-analyze your message and misinterpret it. Communication is not talking to your wife while replying to your emails on your iPhone.
Money can be a sensitive subject to married couples, especially if one of them is earning more than the other. House bills, insurances, and tuition fees all need to be paid and they have to be paid prior to their due dates. When the money is scarce, a strain in your relationship often develops. Some couples often tend to pretend that nothing is wrong and this can cause a big dent to your relationship.
Sex plays an important role in any marriage. This act helps couples build a stronger bond with each other and it allows them to connect. However, not everyone has the same sex drive. Some people want to have sex every night while others are not just up for it. Sometimes, couples are just too tired to have sex at night and disregard this very important factor in their marriage.
If you do not have a housekeeper, then you or your spouse needs to take care of the house. Chores such a doing the laundry, cooking, washing the dishes, taking care of the kids, and cleaning the house can be a handful, especially for couples who are both working full time. When you get home, you are both tired from work that all you want to do is go bed and rest. However, you still have to prepare dinner and clean-up. With our new norms, couples often split their house chores. When one fails to do his tasks, tension can easily build up and start a fight.
Trust can be considered as one of the main ingredients in a healthy and happy relationship. Trust that is broken is very hard to fix. You can’t just glue it back together. Trust is often broken whenever a spouse cheats on his/her partner, lies, or deceives him/her.
Not Prioritizing Your Relationship
Yes, we get it! You need to work to pay the bills. However, giving more importance to your work than your relationship often has a harmful effect to your marriage.
Acknowledging Your Problems
Before you can start resolving your conflicts, you must first acknowledge that, indeed, there is something wrong with your marriage. Admitting this won’t make you less of a husband or wife. It is actually very brave of you to acknowledge the problem and even braver to want to do something about it.
How to Resolve Your Conflict
Once you have acknowledged and identified your problems, you can now find a way to resolve them. Here are some tips that can help you:
Accept your Differences
Your partner is a different person with different characteristics, good traits and bad traits and so do you. You must learn to accept these differences and learn how to deal with your partner. You will be spending a lifetime together and accepting him/her and all his flaws will surely help you have a conflict-free relationship.
Let Go of Selfishness
Getting married eradicates the “I” and forms the “We”. There is no room for selfishness in any marriage.
Choose the Other Person
Let go of your own self-centeredness and choose to pursue the other person. Choose to love your partner whatever happens. Choose to love him/her every day.
Any conflict wouldn’t be resolved without a confrontation. However, in order to do this in a peaceful and productive way, you have to choose a time when both of you are not tensed and heated up.
Forgiveness is the only way to go. Forgive your partner for all his/her shortcomings. Forgive him if he has hurt you or caused you pain. Most importantly, forgive yourself for allowing this to happen.